“you got a little too much sun, huh?” or “Is that poison ivy?”
My favorite, was a recent trip through airport security, the TSA gal asked:
“Oh man, is that chicken pox?”
“Umm, No…it’s Psoriasis.”
“Ok I just wasn’t sure if it was maybe contagious.”
Other TSA guy nearby chips in with: “Yea man, 1 out of every 3 people have that, it sucks.”
“Yea, but I’m healing mine, so it doesn’t suck for me!”
(That just came out of my mouth on instinct, my reprogramming is almost complete!)
Bless their hearts, people care and they are concerned, most are uninformed. I notice that I had developed a hyper-sensitivity towards people when my skin catches their eye. When I talk to a person, and their eyes are focused on my spots, It’s quite a spectacle for me, leading to a train wreck of thoughts. All the while, they may not even be thinking about my skin, its my assumptions most times, a developing complex.
For a long while, during my “why me?” years, I cursed the fact that I have to wear my disorder like a straight jacket, binded to it like padded walls. Always having to come up with a description, break it down, go over what Psoriasis is and move the conversation a different direction softly.
Then of course, the suggestions fly, have you tried this? that? the other thing? “My friend ate coconut shells and his acne cleared in a month”. Once again, this is just people being helpful, but it sometimes tends to become a tad frustrating internally.
In general, us with Psoriasis, LIVE to try anything that will work, anything.
This of course leaves me yearning, thinking about where I may go next with trying things, hygiene, maintenance, itching, scratching, self-consciousness and these thought processes transcend to emotions and run through me, all within seconds…
“I just … Don’t want to think about it!”
There is a social anxiety inherent with Psoriasis
So for years, I covered up, used my oils and creams like a good boy, and a complex slowly crept in. So, as I started my healing practice almost a year ago, I knew it would be imperative to exercise this perception through, that Psoriasis had created inside me…this social anxiety.
To approach this, I have been practicing THREE things that remove this anxiety from my life, as I remove these spots.
1. A daily yoga and inner-thinking session
2. An ‘add’ reaction to negative thoughts
3. I give Psoriasis much less credit
1. I have a routine of about 10 stretches that I do when I wake up. This session takes about 15-20 minutes and during it, I go over my thoughts…and I’ll even talk to myself…like a crazy person. During this time, I go over my task lists for the day, my financial situation, etc…then i breathe those thoughts out, and I think inwardly about the processes of my body and what it’s going through. How can I help my body get more healthy today?
I think only about my heart beating, my bones setting, muscles stretching, lungs breathing, skin working and I sense vitality. I put all the power of my mind towards this thought process, which silences it. I am getting more in tune with my body and how it works.
2. Every time I cheat and eat illegal food I LOOOoove, or have a little flare, itch attack, and I scratch till I’m bleeding (much less these days), which will spin off negative thoughts and emotions; I flip the script in my head to thinking about something I can add to calm my inflammatory response, or trigger, at that moment. I gotta get my hands busy on something constructive.
I’ll grab my liter bottle, fill it up with water, ADD in the pH drops & chlorophyll, and spend two to three minutes drinking it. Eat some cucumber or a celery stalk, to emotionally win. I will not let Psoriasis win over my choices. I will ADD something right now, to help my body.
3. When the conversations come up now, the questions fly, I have an oscar-winning documentary script ready to go. I simply answer all questions about my Psoriasis, without using the word Psoriasis.
“I had a knee surgery in December 2003, I turned very ill after that for about four months, then Poof, a spot of skin on my head and it spread from there. I believe it was a staff infection. That bacteria has harbored in my body progressively ever since living in my skin, and I have allergic reactions to that, which causes my skin to do this, it’s not contagious. I’m fighting off the infection and the rash is slowly going away…”
Now, when I’m talking to people about it, I don’t start off saying, “oh, this is Psoriasis”, instead I’m discussing a temporary bump in the road of my health & life. I give it no credit. Now, my credits roll.
The main weapon is belief. Practice leads to belief. Belief is powerful and only comes with time & practice.
What do you think? Do you carry a complex? Any anxiety to work out? Am I crazy?